Life as a golden retriever

This is indeed exciting, hacking my owners account in order to write this post for all you readers out there. My name is Tiny, a golden retriever, but I think I'm a chihuahua, king of the house garden, adores mao mao quite a lot and gets excited when I get to go for a walk... ALL... I repeat, ALL the time.

oooh what to write what to write, as you can see I get excited over everthing and anything, hence the reason why I look thin compared to the other retrievers out there, I think I'm rather good looking too... oh my gosh!!! was that a squirrel?! was it?! oh sorry I got distracted.

Moving on, you must be amazed bout how I can actually type with my paws huh.. well, I'm fabulous like that. Did I mention.. oh, no I don't think I did, but I must say, I love food, I can finish a bowl of dog kibbles within seconds! one of those proud achievements in my doggy years. It's funny why my owner shouts at me whenever I leave kibbles outside my bowl, c'mon, no one keeps their table (or in my case, the floor) clean when their so excited bout food. I eat other things as well, bread, fruits, no chocolates, though I wouldn't really know the difference if I ate one.

Overall I'm contented with home, I love my owner to bits, unfortunately I can't make cards nor buy her flowers, I thought of doing so by digging the garden once, but I got a whole lot of spanking by the older master instead, I do hope she realizes how much I love her  and take me out for walks often, I see her rather tired all the time when she comes home from.. I don't even know where she goes, but I would love to spend time with her whenever she can instead of waking me up early in the morning just to say good bye. She looks as if she's hiding something from everyone all the time but I don't ask her? so she doesn't tell me. but as a retriever, I respect that and am confident she is strong enough to get through the day.

What is this button here.. looks like I can post a...oh my gosh! is this cool or what?! I can post my picture here too?!

HELLO!??!?! Hello!!!!! THIS IS SO COOL, I do wonder how on earth.. wowwwww I see myself... no wonder most of the time I see my owner on this electronic device! it's so freaking awesome, I wonder if it's possible to get running squirrels... hmm.. what's this? google? gooogle? it says search..not sure if I could search for squirrels here.... oh dear... OH DEAR!! there are TONNES OF THEM! such joy oh such joy.... I better get going now before my owner finds out.. BYEBYE!



p/s: I was just bored in the office.. 

Valentines' Day

It's nothing to be bitter about if you ask me, neither is it something oh-so-cheesy in my life. I never celebrated it, neither have anyone asked, or maybe he did, but didn't have the guts to show up.Long story. But all's cool.

It's the day when couples make a big fuss out of it, and singles? make a bigger fuss. I mean, let's be honest, the fact that you're posting updates of yourself being single, or in the most popular way, Forever Alone on this day, the fact that you're dissing other couples for displaying their affection publicly, show's that you do give a shit, and you ARE aware that it is.. Valentines' Day, and deep in that unconscious mind of yours you're just hoping that today someone would just come knocking on your door. so fairy-tale.

I hesitated a bit before coming up with this post, but I thought, hey, I'm bored at the office right now, I'm not doing exactly what I dream to do, and to prevent myself from being brain dead (and frozen since the aircon is blowing directly at me, hence the headaches too) I decide to write on a day that isn't of great importance to me, but a reminder of the people, the friends, the pets and everyone else around me that love me and appreciate me as much as I do.

Yes, Valentines day IS about the expensive gifts and food. Unless you shower your loved ones with little surprises everyday then, this day? isn't all that important. We all live in a society whereby money is vital. Everyone needs to survive, so it's no wrong to see prices at restaurants and  of gifts sky-rocketing. I took this free-time opportunity to break it down a bit. Average day, 1 rose Rm5, florist don't earn that EVERY DAY because no one buys roses EVERY DAY. hence, you save, and they live on love grass and sunshine. on Valentine's day, 1 rose say, RM15. and you cheap bastard can say, "OMG, so expensive," look at it this way, you don't buy it EVERY DAY. Hence, Valentines' Day would be the day, to accumulate the times you didn't buy a flower for someone you appreciate. Which makes it rather reasonable. It's a dedicated day to show that you love and care, if you haven't done so on any other average day.

But of course, for those who do show love any other day, and would still spend on this  very day, well, that, is something.. normal, since you'd prolly think that it's still.. any other given day for you to spend time and cash with the people you love.

I strongly believe that it's NOT a day for first dates. Why? Because, you don't fall in love with someone you meet on a first date, you don't celebrate love with someone you just met, it's just not right. Period.

So, it's no big deal whether you're single or a couple on this day. because you are and will be any other day anyway. Unless, for singles, cupid decides to do his job properly and finds your partner instead of targeting the wrong people at wrong times and places. Couples... unless you're married, all the best, sincerely.

Therefore I end here, wishing everyone Happy Valentines' day, don't go into depression because you're "forever alone", do have fun and enjoy your evening if you're going out tonight with whoever, if you're on a budget, take time to talk to the people you haven't talked to for awhile. or just live like any other day.

The awkward moment

I always believed in face to face interactions, ice-cream dates, outings and verbal catch up sessions with friends. Normally I would allocate at least 2 days to spend with the different group of friends. But things changed. In this week, I have 3 dinner meetings for work, two nights off, but will be using them to spend with the family, not quite sure how am I gonna catch up with my old friends, and attend dinner dates with new friends. Hence, it becomes an awkward moment whereby, I am in total support of the social networking site, facebook.

I never got the chance to meet everyone of them on the weekly basis, hence there's chat, comment, messages and pokes. And now that I'm living this new life, there's this inner fear in me, thinking of the what if's.. like, what if I lose all my friends? They aren't the best people in my life, but they all do play significant roles, and are people I hold closely to my heart. I never liked losing people, especially those whom I love a lot and hang out with quite often.

So you tell me, that if they mean a lot, I will try to allocate time, I do, or at least I try to each week. But there comes a time when you wonder if you're being appreciated for allocating that time. People will speak of how much they're being neglected so on and so forth. One thing I'm glad is that, I won't be living this lifestyle every week, I don't think they'd want to have meetings like that every week, taking up my own time to stay on track in my social life. But there also comes a time when I have to think of my own self, my health and energy, it does take a toll on me if I'm going to go out every night, hence I think, sms-es, calls, and facebook chats and messages are vital for me to stay in touch with friends and keep updated on all the happenings around me.

That's my take on social networking sites, but twitter is just nonsense if you ask me. I am a user of twitter, but I don't get it.. it's okay if it's news worthy, but if it's about how emotionally unstable and sad and how annoyed you are towards someone and start telling the person your piece of mind not even knowing if the person is reading.. *breathes* then! it's an utter.waste.of.my.time.

So yea, I am guessing that, without social networks online, I don't think there will be any social interaction among the busy people. Just take a look at Singapore. They're a fast moving country, they are working and walking fast all the time, they hardly have time to spend with their friends and family, but they're always on their phones and that's where interaction comes in, when they whatsapp people, sms or so on and forth. Without it, everyone would be so lonely... oh..so... lonely

Enough of rants, just thought I'd update this site, chill and relax before I go to bed and finish the second half of my week. Till then.

Thoughts for the.. New year?

I was told that the first sentence of an article is what draws a person's attention. But from what I see nowadays, it's a picture, and image of a person barely dressed with a face imitating a duck covered with thick make up. I never really joined blogger functions, but I join contests. I wish I started off like how the rest did, and are making it big, but guess my story is different, I decided to do things the harder way because I do not see myself barely dressed, looking photoshoped and I never had intentions of being a model... and to think of it, what if I lived another life?

Contented as I am, with my family, relatives, friends, without a doubt, I feel loved, I feel protected, I am aware that there are many people supporting me from every corner of my life, but there always was that inner yearning in me that wanted to go all out, to sing in a band, to join performing arts, to dance, to live a life of a young adult. I don't party, I don't go out late nights, the only way I enjoy life is to go on holiday trips or just stay at home, read, and snooze. Many times I wished I could turn back the hands of time and at least have the chance to live life having all the fun, but looking at where I am now, I skipped that phase, and realizing too soon, that life ain't about all that fun, and it isn't about all the work too. Truth be known, I don't even have the energy for that sort of fun. When I do intend to go out to party, people are just.. occupied.

I officially hit 22. Most people would think it isn't such a big deal because most people are older than me by years.. YEARS! I don't think it's much of a big deal too prolly because I jumped into the working wagon, without knowing, too soon, and even when I was studying, I jumped into the oldies wagon too because I chose home instead of the outside fun 90% of the time.

But there's an irony. as much as I feel that I've skipped the young adult phase, people still see me as the young kid. ALL the time, I'm not sure if it's the hair, the height or the face, but as much as I feel.. older than what I'm supposed to be, I'm treated like the baby of the clan. I don't get invited to parties, some people still keep secrets from me thinking i'm THAT naive, a pro and con thing, since I could.. "poker face" my way around. But seriously? There comes a time when I ask myself, who am I? cuz, I'm always neither here nor there, and it gets to me a little. And the weird thing is? I don't know who I'm telling this to. it's just a rant, and when I read this, (if I read this) in 10 years time, I'll prolly laugh at myself. Maybe this is like.. my own comic strip in the making, so that when I'm stressed, I come back again, to laugh at the asshole I am.

Then it comes to love. People are getting married, in and out of relationships and myself? I'm just scared.   Not scared of the fact that I won't get married for the rest of my life and stay single with 5 cats and 5 dogs at home, or scared of getting hurt, because I never got hurt, just got pissed off at maturity of guys and men I meet along the way. The amount of annoying guys are JUST TOO HIGH! Seriously, if you're my friend and if you'd want me to talk about all the guys I meet, I'd be glad to share their individual profiles. I'm not choosy, but I'm sure my family, friends, relatives would not want to see me dating an asshole or a total moron right. I never believed in the right guy too, because there never will be. We'll just have to.. compromise. always.

Work. I already have a job secured in my hand, I work part time now and after July, I'll be there full time. but many times, I wonder if this was what I really wanted? yes and no, pro's and con's. I am glad to be able to be in the situation I'm in, but again, many times I wonder, why did I choose this path? Why am I always so concerned about earning my dough so I do not need to rely on my parents? Why am I so independent? Why do I put myself through this?

No idea what's in store for this year, but I hold on. and like the previous years, here's my new 3 word goal/resolution. Focus, Determination and Patience.

Goodbye may seem forever

I grew up in a family of 5, 2 older brothers, both 10 and 7 years apart. but what brought us together, being close despite the age gap, was my stuffed animals. As simple as they are, but they sure hold a lot of memories. Times when I'd name them with ideas from my family, times when I'd play with them together with my brothers, times when I bring at least ONE for a family trip. Giving them away was the hardest, and still is the hardest part. Till today, I still intend to keep them, but I guess there comes a time when you just gotta bless others just as how these lifeless things has blessed me in the little ways. I intend to give them away, somewhere in the middle of this year, but before  I do so, I took the initiative to take pictures of em, and thought I'd blog about them so at least I'd have a written memory of all my childhood toys

This, is grandpa Koala, not because he's the longest stuffed toy I've gotten, it's because he looks like the oldest compared to the rest. The following photo is his grand-daughter, Koali.

 I've gotten Koali way back when I was 5 or 6 in Los Angeles, ever since then, she was one of my favourite toy, I brought her everywhere I went, she was suppose to be holding a leaf, but I took it off, forgot why..

 This is Juicy. Her name was suggested by my brother, Gary. She has a heart there saying I need Love, and the heart was really fat, hence the name. She was also one of the toys I'd bring along on an occasional basis, remember bringing her to a supermarket once. Used to have another stuffed rabbit named, Thumper, he was given away a few years back together with my other stuffed toys, regretted that move, because I wasn't smart enough to take a picture of him.

 This is Meeko. I'm sure you remember the cartoon, Pocahontas? yea, his name was inspired by that cartoon, and there was this phase when I was crazy about raccoon's. He has a sad face, but it's one of those toys I'd always play with when I'm at home, he used to be a chef.

 This is Bobby. My brother got him from somewhere for free. He is always known as the quiet dog, reserved and always lonely. not many toys enjoy his company because he rather keep things to himself. but he is a good listener, always sits. :)

 Flipper! Got her from waterworld LA, if I'm not mistaken. has really adorable blue eyes and great for hugging.

 Pink Panther and Chicken Little! Pink panther was also a gift, as you can see, and it was during Christmas as well. He has really long arms with Velcro at the tip of his hands, so normally I'd wrap him around my neck, and pretend i'm bringing him for a piggy back ride. Chick Lil was from McDonalds.

 Dae Lim, is the name of this raccoon. WHY?! well, because there's a tag at the side, I didn't know what to name her, hence I decided to just follow the tag. She's a puppet, full of character, always ready to give a nice warm hug. I used to bring her to my cousin's house to play.

 Hush. I'm not sure if I had spelling problems back then, but I always thought of this Husky, as a Hush Puppy. He's from Korea, mom and dad went on holiday back then and bought him for me because I insisted they got something for me when I was stuck at home.

 MooMoo. The fat cow, really huggable, hence the reason why I love hugs too. She's one of those toys that I can never part with, I don't know why, but there comes a time when I just have to say bye, even though it's the hardest thing to do. She has a little beeper on her leg, used to have a bell, but took it off.. cuz it got quite annoying

 Bean. I can't quite remember if  Mr Bean named his bear, I know Garfield called his bear, Pooki, but I'm not sure bout Bean's, hence I named this bear, the original bear, with the exact material, Bean. Was also a gift, he came in a cheese biscuit box. YES, I can remember, and that actually shows how much all these toys mean to me.

 Scott! A free gift from that Tissue box. No, seriously. There's a tissue brand called Scott, and yes, there's a tag on his butt too. I wasn't a fan of bears, but this bear was one of those... "chilling" bears. Look how he sits properly. He's really soft too and has soft hands.



















Polly and Ellie, redeemed them from this coupon thing way back when Parkson was the In-Thing. I also have the Monkey and the Pig, but my brother took them. They're in his room now.

  Puma! My little cousin sister gave it to me as a gift. A really cute leopard. He's kinda shy, but really adorable 

  

 Dew! Named her Dew because she is a humble stuffed animal, doesn't have great fur, but really soft and cuddly. pull her ears back and she becomes a sea lion.

So there you have it... the family of toys that I will be giving away, but if you do want one, you can let me know before I give them away in February or so.I do intend to sell them at Rm10 each, and you get another one for free. Do let me know if you're interested. All proceeds will go to the Turtle Conservation Centre in Terengganu, it's not much, but it's something at least. If I don't sell them, I make kids happy, if I sell em, I make our sea turtles have a slightly higher chance of living. 

I've also have some which I'm keeping and here's the list!

 Momo. A chinese looking dog, given by my brother not too long ago when he was out having lunch, then this guy was selling stuffed toys for charity, he has a cute character, being all fat and chubby, carrying his tiny sling bag around. Not sure what's inside.

 George. A wombat, given by an uncle I used to know. that uncle's name was Uncle John. He and his wife are from Australia. I've never heard of them ever since they gave me this, way back when I was 8.

 Steven!  The german shepherd given by both my parents when I was attending this Residential Bible School in 2008. He's one worth keeping because he looks exactly like a german shepherd puppy. I still hug him to sleep at nights too.

Wally. Another dolphin from Waterworld. He's like the black sheep of the family, hence I find it hard to just give him away like that. my brother and I just love having him around

 Russel. The black rabbit, in loving memory of my late, real rabbit, Russel. :) Got him from Ikea, many MANY years back with my brother. Another poker face stuffed toy, looks quiet, but he's a really sweet thing.









Mr NY bear, and Kirby. NY bear was my LAST toy I bought overseas. Probably because it was my LAST holiday and flight on MAS. I went to Stockholm first, then over to NY, and got him from the airport cuz mom insisted I got something as a remembrance. I did, and there was no regrets. Kirby however, was given by Gary, a lil plushie from memory lane, and reminds me very much of my long lost dog and friend, Sam. the dog who farts and cries when he makes a mess and as he watches me clean it up.

And of course, Itchy. the Dinosaur, older than me. Was my eldest brother's dino, passed down to my second brother, passed down to me. He probably had a name change when it reached me though. because I liked his hind legs and how it could use its leg to scratch his itchy head. THIS, is the only stuffed toy so far, that has been on MANY trips with me, and still does. His last trip, was Bali.


So there you have it, my furry friends, some of which will part from me very soon. It's one of those moment when you sing that song...

Goodbye may seem forever 

Farewell is like the end 

But in my heart is a memory

And there you'll always be.

Back on track

So it's the new year, one week through, and yep, after months of being on hiatus, I thought I'd just start writing again, though I know i've prolly lost most of my readership, but oh well, shit happens. I didn't get to blog about my movies, my Aladdin play, my experience in lagoon, my life... I really miss those days. but we move on. oh, I've cut my hair.

I'm no longer working with Sunway Lagoon as I've found a new place to work now, a.. real job so to say, that requires me to join the rat race every morning, as a congress secretariat at PJ. It's an interesting job I must say, good benefits too. I do miss working as a lifeguard at lagoon, where I meet people of various characters, I even got to watch Aladdin the Musical for free! I climbed slides, built some muscles, I had another extended family of different races. It was an interesting job I never regretted applying for, the joy every time I wake up in the morning, looking forward to work in a place somewhat similar to the beach, but there comes a time when I move on to pursue something better that'd change my life.

I work everyday, and have classes 3 days a week. It's funny how I landed in this, but I must say, we ought to live life with no regrets, so what I've chosen, this life I live now, is a blessing in disguise. It's all about time management and how much faith I have in the One above who's gonna guide me through this. I don't go to church as often as I do compared to last time, but my faith, is still as strong as before. I'd be an asshole if I were to just forget all He has done, all I've been through and all that I've learnt.

So yea, it's the start of a new year, a new journey and beginning of everything. I do look forward to what is to come, and I do hope I get to update this place often. I randomly took part in Project 365, which requires me to take a photo a day, and I'm kinda enjoying it, you can find my pictures here. 

I'm looking forward to blog about my stuffed toys that will be on sale at rm10 each, so do check them out next week. till then.

My grandfather

My grandfather and I

He used to drink a lot, smoke a lot, and didn't have a good past with my late grandmother, he did many mistakes in life, but we're all human, we age, and we forgive. Because, in everyone, there's always a heart. My grandfather, had a heart that loved, a heart that was carefree, and the same heart that was strong.

I wasn't too close to him in my earlier years, but visited him often during Chinese New year, or any other occasion.. until he started having dementia at an early stage, he stayed with us for awhile.

It was then I started to get to know him as my grandfather, what he did in the past, what he liked, what he enjoyed doing with his friends, his childhood, his view on karaokes and his interest in motorbikes.

Shopping with the family

I still remember the funny moment when we had to share the same toilet, he has this habit of placing his towel on the door, and I have the habit of wiping my face after I wash it.. When I realized it wasn't my towel, I washed my face again and told him about it, and all he did was just smile, and said, it's clean. I'm not sure about that, but.. it's never nice wiping your face on someone else's towel. Finding him in shopping malls and ensuring that he doesn't walk off by himself to the toilet was also a pretty interesting adventure

He used to tell me about his childhood days when he joined the church choir with his siblings, his father was a pastor, he was very proud of those moments, I could even sense his joy when he talks about it. It was one of those moments I treasure most with my grandfather apart from the other time when I fetched him to my uncle's place, we talked about Pulau Ketam, Klang, and what he did there when he was young. He always had this warm smile whenever we said hi, or even if it's a simple question asking if he's full, and if he enjoyed his meal.

His big appetite showed me the reason to always enjoy my food no matter how big the portion is, and also to always clean your plate.  Never to complain in life and to receive whatever that's given to you with open arms, always, say thank you.

My grandfather was a very strong man, who never complained about pain, always wanted to do things himself, his way, even if he may find it a lil difficult to walk down the stairs. He would say he's always alright no matter what, but things changed over time.

Recently, he was ill and things weren't going too well, he lost his appetite, he was sick, and we realized he has been holding on for a very long time. I knew that his condition wasn't treatable, but I never knew that he passed away so soon.

It was on a Saturday when I visited him, he responded when I said hi, and to hold his hand was comforting. After many years of being apart, not needing him to be cared for, I fed him and wiped him for the first time, cared for him, not knowing that it would be my last.

and the greatest thing my grandfather has taught me indirectly? acceptance, and forgiveness, as well as love. The picture of him, holding my late grandmother's hands when she was striving to survive her last hours, shows me that, despite all, he still wanted to love her.. yes, he may have left a big scar in her, but I guess somewhere in him he always wanted to seek for that forgiveness, after so many years, and during family gatherings, he always wanted to strike little conversations with her.. that is love, even if it wasn't exactly mutual because of scars of the past, but his action spoke to me and will be remembered.

My grandfather, distant he was in the past, but the 8 months spent with him when he stayed with me, and with my uncle, were the months I'd treasure the most, realizing, that he wasn't just a man with a strong heart, he was a man, with a heart of gold.

RIP gong gong. Will be missing you.